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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

I Think I'm Gonna Do It

I'm coming out!

Well, I'm coming out to the two scariest people that I could ever possible come out to: my parents.

They are the only two people I have yet to officially tell, and I'm going to be doing it quite soon, actually. Lately, I haven't been so sure if I should tell them anytime soon; in fact many people I know have given me the advice that waiting would be much better for parents' sake. Wait until you're stable, and then tell them--like after college or something.

But I had a major change of heart today. I'm tired of my parents not knowing anything about a major part of my life. Yes, being gay is not the only thing that makes me who I am, but in today's society it's still pretty important. So I'm going to tell them.

First, I plan to break the news to my mom. I know, in the end, she'll be ok with it, so I want to tell her first in case my dad blows his stack (he probably won't, but he's more likely to than my mom, so I want her support). I've kind of developed a plan of attack too:

I am definitely going to wait until my dad leaves town for a few days next week to fly for work. That way my mom has some time to process it on her own and be completely own to any impressing I can put upon her to make it seem more okay for her. As for the actual speech, I'll probably make this list of points, elaborating on each:

1)I'm gay
2)I'm being careful with it in college (publically, socially, and sexually--I may not mention the last one in the first discussion about my homosexuality--she probably doesn't want to think about that right away--maybe in another conversation)
3)It can still be ok with God--this one is tricky. I'm not religious, but my mom definitely doesn't want to her that (I can guarantee that's worse than being gay). But she'll be conflicted with it if I don't say anything, so I'm going to argue (in a non-argumentative way) that the only verses in the Bible addressing homosexual sex are not only surrounded in their passages by many other unrealistic abominations, but nowhere in the Bible does God (or Jesus-which is significant) say that gay marriage is wrong. Arguably, homosexual love is just as okay as straight love because sex between a man and a woman is just as much a sin as gay sex when it's before a marriage is established. Hence, if I ever get married, it might not be a bad thing in God's eyes. That's probably as far as I'll dive into it with that. I don't want to push her away so soon.
4)This in NO way makes you a bad mother. This is a big one i need to make sure to talk about. I know she's going to think this is her fault, and I've thought of all of these sweet and wonderful things to say to make her feel better about her role as my mother.
5)I'm still me. I'm still the boy she loves and has grown up with her for the passed 20 years. Nothing has changed.

I think if I address all of these things appropriately, the conversation will go over very well. Ill plan to stay the night because I definitely should not leave her alone to her thoughts and devices for too long for at least a day. I'll probably also bring a good DVD for us to watch toghether, like Saved. That's a good movie for this situation, I think.

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