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Saturday, May 23, 2009

Personal Update: I came out to my half-brother tonight!

So this entry is all about my personal life, something that doesn't happen very often. Here's your chance to get a little taste of the real Mitch behind his gay blogs.

Tonight after work, my half-brother (Larry, he works with me at a catering agency) confronted me in my car as we were driving home to our parents' (well i guess my parents' and his parent's--since only one of my parents is his--if any of that makes sense) house when he popped the question about my sexuality.

Now, it should be noted that i've been wanting to tell my whole family--mom, dad, bro, and half-bro--for quite a while now. I've only been afraid because of how they might react; none of them have ever shown any sign that they might be ok with gay people (then again, they've never had the reason too). So this question tonight was just perfect for me; not only am I going to be honest to anyone who asks me at this point in my life (i'm going through this whole "love me or hate me" phase where if someone asks me something i'm damn well going to tell them truth. if they don't like it they can leave me the fuck alone and move on), but it means that he's, if nothing else, been thinking about it and comfortable enough with the idea to ask me in an inviting and nonconfrontational kind of way. I, without hesitation, confessed my homosexuality to him, and a bunch of things happened after this--some i won't get into because they are more family issues that need not be discussed here.

First and of foremost importance, he said he was 100% cool with it, which was a huge sigh of relief to me. I've always been afraid that he's a jock athletic type that thinks gays are a bunch of pussies, but apparantly that's not it at all. He has a great respect for gay people who can come out and love who they are; he recognizes that it is not a choice at all (he thinks its completely genetic and from birth--why would someone choose this?). He actually said that he's known about me since "you were eight, before you even knew." This statement prompted me to ask about my family, who've i've also been wanting to come out to. Maybe they've discussed it?

"Don't tell your parents" was the first thing he said on the subject. According to him (and this isn't the first time i've heard this), my parents have thought about it and talked about it with people (mostly him and close friends), but they've never ever liked the idea. My brother has been sure to the point that he's talked about it, not as a possibility, but as fact, and they didn't like that. He said that yes, they're my parents and they'll still love me, but, at least for now, they don't need the stress added to their lives. If its bothering me and i want to tell them, he said to, without a doubt, tell them. I shouldn't keep things bottled up. But, if i'm cool with them not knowing, then it'd be better to just live and let live (which i am cool with). I suggested my idea of the ideal time to tell them (after i graduate college and get a career going and am situated with my life--this way they can't worry about my being gay affecting any other area of my life), and he really liked that idea.

As for my brother, who i want to tell before the summer is out, he said that he's talked with him about it as a fact. My brother has a facebook, so he knows. A friend of mine who is a mother to one of my brother's friends has said she's heard them talking about it, so i know he knows or at least is 99% sure of it. My half-bro said that my lil bro doesn't like it, but Larry is laying the ground work with comments like "you think he wants this trouble? it's something he's living with even more than you have to accept it, and your his brother so you have to support him." Larry is being way more awesome than i took him for.

Basically, my half-bro said that he's here for me 100%, whatever i need, and he expects the same from me. We're brothers, for all intensive purposes, and we should treat other as such. And i intend to.

I'm glad he knows now. It feels way better than i expected it to.

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